Assertiveness Self – Questionnaire

November 23, 2011  |   Executive Coaching Blog   |     |   0 Comment

How assertive are you? Assertive behaviour tends to be exhibited by those who respect the rights of other people to express their ideas, feelings, and needs, while at the same time recognising that they too have the right to express and pursue such matters.


Being assertive means:

  • Being honest with yourself and others.
  • It means having the ability to say directly what you want, need, or feel, but not at the expense of others.
  • It means having confidence in yourself and being positive, while at the same time understanding other people’s points of view.
  • Being able to negotiate and reach workable compromises.
  • Having self-respect and respect for other people.


For the questions below, use the following scale:

  1. If behaviour never occurs
  2. If behaviour rarely occurs
  3. If behaviour sometimes occurs
  4. If behaviour generally occurs
  5. If behaviour almost always occurs

Unless the question is marked with a star: *, in which cases use the following scale:

  1. If behaviour almost always occurs
  2. If behaviour generally occurs
  3. If behaviour sometimes occurs
  4. If behaviour rarely occurs
  5. If behaviour never occurs


  • A Expressing Positive feelings


  1. I give compliments easily and sincerely.
  2. I can tell people that I care about them.
  3. * I usually feel critical towards others.
  4. * I can think of more negative characteristics of myself than I can positive.
  5. I tell people when I think they’ve done a good job.
  6. * It’s hard for me to tell my parents how much I love them.


  • B Expressing negative feelings


  1. If I get defective goods from a shop, I can return them easily.
  2. If my food comes differently from what I ordered, I send it back.
  3. I can disagree with people.
  4. * If there is something I don’t like about a service, I usually don’t say anything to the person, but I complain to others.
  5. * If a family member of a close friend is annoying me, I usually pretend not to be bothered.
  6. * I smile even when I am not happy.
  7. * I find it difficult to negotiate prices for purchases, services or repairs.
  8. * When people push in front of me, I usually let them.


  • C Setting limits


  1. * I have a hard time saying ‘no’.
  2. * I get involved in activities merely because someone I know asked me to.
  3. * If I get invited somewhere and do not want to go, I usually make up a story and beg off.
  4. I can say sincerely to people “No thanks, I am not interested.”
  5. I know how much I can handle and am careful not to take on too much.


  • D Self initiative


  1. I think of new projects or activities and then do them.
  2. I can ask a member of the opposite sex for lunch or dinner.
  3. * I feel left out because not many people invite me places.
  4. I easily initiate conversations with new people.
  5. * I have a difficult time meeting new people.



100-120 – You always stand up for yourself and take initiative, but may “overdo” it at times and be aggressive. You may need to practice letting others take charge at times and not always saying everything negative that comes to mind.


61-99 – You are quite assertive and use appropriate behaviours. You do not often “overdo” it, so you are rarely aggressive and you also usually stand up for your rights, but are respectful of other people at the same time.


24-60 – You are too passive and let other people make decisions for you and/or control your life. You need to try not to please others so often and take more initiative in relationships.



Read our article on How to Become More Assertive if you believe this is a skill you need to improve.





Keywords; Assertiveness, Assertiveness Questionnaire, Assertiveness Test

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